Saturday, January 8, 2011

Welcome To My Nightmare

Hi - I'm K, as in Kay, as in Kathryn. I started smoking when I was 14, Kools I swiped from my mom's flowered china cigarette box. Over the years, that's grown to a two-pack a day habit and contributed to a heart attack at 54 and a nasty cough.
I started quitting when I was 35. Over the years, that's contributed to a diminished sense of accomplishment and self-worth, as I failed time after time. I suspect my family, although they truly love me, view me in the same terms that they might a raging alcoholic.
This year, I want it to be for real - I want to quit for the LAST time. This blog is my journal, a means of using my art and writing to keep my hands busy, my sense of humor intact, and me on the path toward my goal. I plan to be honest, reporting setbacks as well as successes, and I hope to keep finding the humor in it.
The picture above isn't what I look like on the outside. I'm not that slim (I'm more of a whale than a mermaid) and not that young anymore. But it's the me that lives on my inside. And the animals are real, just as they are. I have two rescue dogs - a cocker spaniel named Lady, and a PBGV named Henri. Right now, my grandpets - Chapters the ginger cat and Bastian the Wonder Poodle, are staying with us too. I have a husband, who I've never successfully drawn, and a grown-up daughter, The Princess, who suggested I try this, and who will undoubtedly appear later.
I've never had a blog before, but I have worked as a free-lance writer most of my adult life, and I'm willing to give it a try. If my journal helps you meet your goal, too,for a day, or just lets you know you're not alone or makes you smile once in a while, I'm happy.
And now, I'm going to push "publish post".

3 More Days...

December 30, 2010

In 3 days, I will quit smoking. What I want to do right now is curl up into a snail--shaped knot and sleep 'till February. That not being possible, I need to psyche myself up. I have to quit. I don't want to. What I want is for them to say, "Oh, hey! We were wrong! It's not cigarettes causing all those dreadful things! It's green beans. (Who doesn't eat green beans?) Smoke all you want - just stay away from the green bean casserole." This doesn't seem likely...not in 3 days, anyway - unless someone is conducting top secret green bean research.